PVPF 2024

Interview with Rahul Verma, author of “By Choice not, By Chance”

As far as I can remember, I was an overweight person and a lot rebellious by nature.
on Apr 06, 2023

Rahul Verma is a UK-based IT consultant and Isha meditator. He was born in India and migrated to the UK in 2000. A few years ago, he had a severe addiction to alcohol. Under the influence, he almost lost his life and family, but with the support of family, friends, medical intervention, and spirituality, he recovered from the addiction. His transformation began with the Isha Foundation- a nonprofit spiritual organization. Spirituality has evolved him as a person and transformed his perception.

Frontlist: The title of your book is "By Choice, not by Chance." What does this title mean to you, and how did you come up with it?

Rahul: During my life, I have had many experiences with various forms of addictions – food, alcohol, and other compulsive behaviours. So, the title is essentially means that in my life, I am not to blame or give excuses for the “choices” I have made, and neither will I say that these happened to me “by chance” or transfer my responsibility to God. Good or Bad, Joyful or Miserable, these were my choices and for these I am 100% responsibilities and what ever happened because of me making these choices is also my own making.

Most of my friends and family members are aware of the transformations I have gone through in life. One day, one such friend quipped “Rahul, Life has given you so many chances and you should write something about all the chances that have come your way”. Over the next few days, I reflected over this conversation with only one question in my mind – “Were these chances or my choices?” The answer too was instant, none of these are chances in life, they all are my choices.

Frontlist: You mention that your weight was your greatest challenge, and you often overindulged in comfort eating. Can you tell us more about how your relationship with food evolved over the years?

Rahul: As far as I can remember, I was an overweight person and a lot rebellious by nature. There were many things which I wanted to achieve but I couldn’t so the easiest and most rewarding substance that was available to me was food. In addition, if I was challenged for over eating or over indulging, the rebel in me would take over and do the exact opposite of what was being asked for. Gradually this habit became the only comforting activity that I felt I had complete control over.

There were many instances when after having an extra-large meal, I felt physically uncomfortable, sometimes the breathing became heavy or it felt like I was full to my mouth, so I deliberately became sick and threw up the extra food until I am physically better, but this resulted as an easy solution to my overeating.

Frontlist: Can you tell us about your journey from addiction to spirituality and how you decided to write a book about it?

Rahul: As I said earlier, I have had many experiences with various forms of addictions – food, alcohol, and other compulsive behaviours. Each time these became overbearing and when I realised I had to do something about them, I took an action to resolve and come out. However, this was a repetitive cycle. From one addiction to the next, there seems to be no end to it.

Once I came back from my alcohol rehab, I had the acceptance that I needed to stabilise my addictive tendencies. However, I was unsure on how to achieve this stability. After pursuing a few options, I came in touch with a few YouTube videos from Sadhguru. After watching a few, I started reflecting on some of the topics such as how to be, how to transform from being in a continuous state of reaction and become a conscious response. Sadhguru’s choice of words made an instant and longing impact on me. The very simple logic that both joy and misery, agony and ecstasy, or any other dualities that I have experienced are my own creation and I must be in charge of my own creations. What the world throws at me or whichever situation I am in, are never in my control but what I make out of it is 100% my choice.

The book is an ode to Sadhguru and a small attempt from me to make people realise that we are responsible for all the choices we make.

Frontlist: What was your biggest challenge during your recovery journey, and how did you overcome it?

Rahul: The biggest challenge for me was the physical journey from London to Chandigarh right before the start of the rehab. At that time, I was convinced that I will never be able to see my family. For some reason, I believed that I will not be able to recover and will most likely die in rehab.

There was no other way to overcome this fear other than to experience it. By that time, I had exhausted all other ways to overcome my addictions but nothing had worked so far. The rehab was likely to be the last attempt from me and my loved ones. I had to make it work. This was the choice I had, and I made it.

Frontlist: In the book, you mention the role of a spiritual guru in helping you overcome your obsessive nature. Can you tell us more about that experience?

Rahul: As far as my memory goes, I always been a compulsive human being, sometime proactive, most of the times reactive to the situation and the people around me but never ever was I responsive until I started listening and actively living the Isha way of life. After my YouTube introduction with Sadhguru, I attended an in-person event in London conducted by Sadhguru. This event was called “Inner Engineering”. Before I attended this event, I had absolutely no clue on what was on the offer.

From the event, I learnt certain tools and techniques which I have been actively using ever since. This simple 21-minute practice has enabled me to realise my own self and bring a certain focus and stillness within me. This is an ongoing experience, one that I would like to carry on as long as I am alive.

Of the many quotes I have heard a few of them have made a deeper contact than others. By continuous reflecting on some of the quotes such as

‘There are no good people or bad people, there are only joyful people or miserable people’, Or ‘Nothing in life is a problem – everything is a possibility.’, Or.

‘The fear is simply because you are not living with life, you are living in your mind.’

I have realised how to be a different human being than what I was previously. I cannot change the past, but I can live more responsibly today which will reflect on my future.

Frontlist: Addiction is often stigmatized and misunderstood in society. What message do you hope readers take away from your book about addiction, recovery, and the power of Choice?

Rahul: This book is an attempt for anyone and everyone who are either in some form of addiction or know someone suffering from addictive behaviors, to help them realize that there are many tools and techniques available to forego their addictions and then live a stable life thereafter.

Addiction is a stigma in our minds and the wider society but the cost that we pay to keep it hidden is far greater. Acceptance of addiction and seeking out help to get over it is the key takeaway from my personal experience. Post addiction, relapse prevention is critically important which requires conscious choices to be made. These choices can only be made by you, and no one else can force you into making them. Now is time you make your choice.