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Interview with Mehak Goyal Author of “Failure to Make Round Rotis”

Explore the insightful interview with Mehak Goyal, author of 'Failure to Make Round Rotis,' as she shares her journey and wisdom. A delightful read on Frontlist.
on Dec 21, 2023

Mehak Goyal was a computer science engineer, start-up founder and B2B sales leader before committing herself to writing. Her poems have been published in The American Journal of Poetry, Magma Poetry, Sky Island Journal, The Madras Courier(India), ANGLES, Visual Verse, The Punch Magazine(India), Muse (India), The Alipore Post(India), etc. Her poems were shortlisted for The Woman Inc. & Beyond Black Sakhi Annual Poetry Awards 2019 and the Cinnamon Press Literature Award 2020. She shares her poetry and musings on Instagram @mehakgoyal.poetry.

Frontlist: Can you tell us about the inspiration behind the title, "Failure to Make Round Rotis," and how it relates to the themes explored in your poetry collection?

Mehak Goyal: The title draws inspiration from one of my favorite poems in the book 'How to Make Round Rotis'. The act of preparing rotis carries profound implications within Indian society. For far too long, our worth as women has been defined by the roundness of our rotis, and I want to change that narrative.
Here is an excerpt from the poem:
Remove a dream from the dough.
Roll on hands until it is confined to a circle.
Place on the rolling board and crush (lightly).
Use ingrained displeasure and rage to
flatten it with a rolling pin.
Toss the roti on the virtuous tawa.
Round and puffed,
serve it warm for a worthy fortune.

The poems within the book provide a fresh perspective on the challenges, unjust expectations, and everyday discrimination that women often face, which are frequently downplayed by society and conveniently swept under the rug.

Frontlist: How does the cultural context of India influence the narratives in your poems?

Mehak: The prevalence of arranged marriages, traditional gender roles, and societal expectations in India presents compelling themes for exploration in my poetry. I delve into the intricacies of relationships, the interplay between tradition and modernity, and the resilience of women who redefine their roles within this cultural framework.

As I embarked on the journey of adulthood, I found myself in the process of unlearning several ingrained lessons from my childhood. These include the perception that fair is beautiful, the stigma surrounding menstruation, the shame associated with asking for sanitary products, and the tendency to attribute any emotional expression of girls to PMS. Additionally, I explore the complexities of female friendships, the pervasive issue of victim-blaming in cases of catcalling and rape, and the persisting taboos surrounding mental health and sex education.

Considering that a staggering 93% of married Indians report having experienced arranged marriages, with only 3% having love marriages, these societal norms and expectations have shaped my work.

Here is an excerpt from the poem 'Protect Her':
'Reading can kill
She shouldn't be drenched in knowledge
She shouldn't write her story
It has been cast in stone, for generations.'

Frontlist: What was your writing process like for this collection? Did you draw from personal experiences, observations, or a combination of both?

Mehak: My writing process for this collection is a dynamic blend of personal experiences and keen observations. Take, for instance, the poem 'Bully,' it stems from my own childhood experiences of being relentlessly bullied to the extent that I detested going to school. I was a scrawny girl with braces and glasses, and I convinced myself that I deserved the torment based on my background and appearance. I lacked the courage to confront my tormentors, often rehearsing retorts in front of the mirror, only for my voice to falter when I faced them.

As I crafted the poem 'Bully,' I drew from these personal experiences, delving into my suppressed emotions and perspectives. I channeled these feelings into the poem, giving voice not only to my past self but to countless others who have endured similar ordeals. My writing process essentially revolved around weaving my life's encounters with the broader tapestry of human experiences.

Frontlist: How do you hope your book will resonate with readers, especially with young women who may relate to these experiences?

Mehak: In our formative years, we as young girls are ingrained with the expectation of being 'good' girls, a label often synonymous with unquestioning obedience. This obedience manifests in countless aspects of our lives, from the clothes we wear to the choice of our college and even our life partner. These decisions are frequently made on our behalf, shaped by the conditioning our elders have undergone.

From an early age, we are subtly guided to aspire to marriage, a path that, while not inherently negative, can sometimes overshadow the cultivation of our individual aspirations and dreams. We receive mixed messages, encouraged to be ambitious but cautioned not to be 'too ambitious' to the point of intimidating our potential partners. Our expressions and desires can be stifled as we transition from relying on our parents to becoming dependent on our future husbands.

By delving into these topics and sharing personal stories in the book, I aspire to ignite a spark of self-awareness and empowerment among my young female readers, urging them to claim their agency and live life on their terms.

Frontlist: In your book, you address the dark reality of arranged marriages. Could you share some insights into how your poems explore this theme and shed light on the challenges and expectations faced by women in such situations?

Mehak: The theme of arranged marriages unfolds in my poems with a poignant reflection of its dark reality, shining a light on the burdens and expectations that weigh heavily on women in such situations. To illustrate this, I penned the lines:
I used to wander
the toy store for hours
till I found my perfect Barbie.
But now,
a Ken doll has been
arranged for me.
These lines offer a contrast between the youthful agency in choosing a Barbie doll and the lack of choice when a 'Ken doll' is arranged for a woman.

My poems further delve into the persistent presence of unhealthy beauty standards that continue to dictate the criteria for the 'perfect' girl: tall, slim, fair, and well-educated.
Simultaneously, they show the pressures faced by men, who are expected to conform to traditional gender norms, often burdened with the role of being the family's primary breadwinner. Amid these societal expectations, caste preferences still continue to prevail within the framework of arranged marriages.

Negative sentiment towards working women remains prevalent. At the same time, society judges pre-marital relationships harshly. Paradoxically, marrying a near-stranger, chosen by one's parents, is glorified as a heavenly union. Even today, the tradition of celebrating the first night with an unfamiliar partner endures. Even today, a significant chunk of Indian society perceives women who have lost their virginity before marriage as devoid of value and questionable in character.

Frontlist: Are there any poets or writers who have influenced your style or approach to addressing societal issues through poetry

Mehak: They have all inspired me, from Kamala Das's 'The Old Playhouse' to Tishani Doshi's 'Girls are coming out of the woods' and even Fatimah Asghar's 'Shadi'.
Their poetry served as a catalyst in my life, emboldening me to shed my fears and embrace self-expression. They instilled within me the confidence to tackle subjects that were once considered uncomfortable or taboo. Thanks to their inspiration, I started writing poetry that addresses issues like the struggles of making round rotis, the complexities of arranged marriages, the prevalence of catcalling, and the unrealistic beauty standards imposed on women.

Frontlist: Lastly, what do you hope readers will remember most after reading your collection?
Mehak: Through my poetry, I hope readers will remember the power of rebellion and resilience.

Burn your lungs. Roar.
Till it becomes an anthem—
A voice that cannot be muffled
A body that denies defeat
A grit that's pure WOMAN.